Southern Hospice-tality

Old Jimmy Carter headed off to hospice four months ago (2/22/23) and has been living it up ever since. It is uncouth to speak ill of the dead, and probably not super kind to speak dead of the ill, but by the sound of things ol’ Jimma is neither. He is just too healthy to die and too embarrassed to go home, so instead he just hangs out like a kid after a tonsillectomy, sitting up in bed and eating ice cream.

The famous Talmudic paradox applies here nicely. In Jewish law, any document received by mail from a person under 80 can be entered into the public record. But when mailed by a person over 80, we cannot record it before verifying that the sender is still alive. The fact that he was alive a week ago does not create a presumption of life, because he is at an age when he may die any day. However, once he passes 90, he REGAINS the presumption of life and we can certify a document without verifying that he was alive on the day of receipt.

Jimmy Carter seems to have become that guy. He has been around forever, so the Angel of Death does not consider this particular delivery order a priority. Just another elderly gent making no waves. His biggest concern is why they call the place Hoss Piss. Though too embarrassed to ask, he stubbornly refuses to drink the tea.

Carter was once known as a failed president, because conditions during his tenure were awful and getting worse. America was presumed to be going inevitably but slowly downhill, and the popular phrase among policy thinkers was “managing the decline.” Ronald Reagan came along on horseback and he corralled us into the okay, both in national confidence and firm financial footing. (RELATED: Don’t Believe The Spin – Biden’s Predicament Isn’t Comparable To Reagan’s)

Jimma left public office 42 years ago, relieved to be escaping from ineffectiveness to irrelevancy. He went back to Plains and plainness. Every so often he would fly over to Central America, lending his expertise to the management of the voting process. Nothing warmed the hearts of tinpot dictators more than this genius declaring how impressed he was by the five minute show put on for him by the rulers at the few sanitized voting locations they allowed him to visit on Election Day.

The late great comic author, P.J. O’Rourke, built a whole career on scoffing at both Jimmy Carter and his loyal wife Rosalynn. The books that these twits co-wrote after they left the White House were sublimely ridiculous. (RELATED: Democrats Turn To Michelle Obama For Deliverance. Their Prayers Won’t Be Answered)

All that being said, the fact is that God used Jimmy Carter as a vehicle to facilitate the Camp David peace process that led to peace treaties between Israel and Egypt, with Lebanon and Jordan signing on in the aftermath. This has saved a lot of lives and made the world a better place; sometimes it pays to just get to where the action is and shut your mouth while God works His magic. And that Plains vanilla ice cream is good too…

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the positions of American Liberty News.

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