Edward “Big Balls” Coristine was left with a broken nose and concussion after a violent attempted carjacking in Washington, D.C. Two 15-year-olds were quickly arrested — one of them also tied to a gas station robbery the same night.
But now comes the twist: neither teen is going to jail. Instead, the boy got 12 months’ probation under house arrest, and the girl was handed nine months’ probation at a youth shelter.
The Daily Mail reports:
The judge in the Democrat-run city said that the purpose of juvenile court was to rehabilitate, not punish offenders.
Coristine, who rose to national prominence for his leadership of Elon Musk’s DOGE team and his bawdy high school nickname, was left bloody and concussed after the attempted carjacking while he was with his girlfriend.
He was jumped by around ten youths but the others who took part in the assault have not been identified and remain at large.
To this day, they’ve only caught two out of the ten. Eight of them remain on the street.
— Edward Coristine (@as400495) October 15, 2025
That night could’ve gone far differently. Think of your daughters and mothers. The same group attacked people before and after us, breaking ribs and stomping heads.
This senseless crime… https://t.co/YVg9vObWMx
Days after the attack, Donald Trump deployed the National Guard in the nation’s capital as a response to concerns over raging crime.
The court defended the light sentences, saying first-time juvenile offenders deserve rehabilitation, not punishment. Critics argue it’s just another example of a justice system that goes soft on crime — even when victims are left bloodied.
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OUTRAGEOUS – REPREHENSIBLE
OUTRAGEOUS – REPREHENSIBLE!!!!!!